Blessing and Journal Writing

Let me first start off by clarifying: journal writing has never been my forte.

I think I was about 13/14, maybe even 12ish, but the Alonzo E. Bushman (lovely name I know) family was challenged to say their prayers for a year, read their scriptures for a year, and write in their journal for a year.  If you finished it, you got a certificate. 

My mom and dad challenged my sister and I to do it.  I'm pretty sure I did it, but I look back at my journal entries for the year, and let's just say they were lame.  I think one verbatim would have gone like this, "It was a nice day today."

I'm the Sunday School teacher for the 14/15 year-olds in our ward.  In the month of August, we talked about record keeping and family history.  One of the talks I had to read to prepare my lesson was President Henry B. Eyring's, "O Remember, Remember".  In it, he talks about how for several years he kept a journal detailing how he saw the Lord's hand in his life, and in the lives of his family. 

**I'm going to meander while I stand on my soap box.  I firmly believe that to everything there is a season.  We are all at different stages in our lives.  If you have not felt prompted to keep a journal, don't feel guilty!  There's something else you should be working on.  This is what the Holy Ghost told me to do.  Not you, (unless he has, in the which, you have my permission to feel guilty).  I loved what Elder Scott said in his last (April 2013) conference talk, "We need not worry if we can’t simultaneously do all of the things that the Lord has counseled us to do. He has spoken of a time and a season for all things. In response to our sincere prayers for guidance, He will direct us in what should be emphasized at each phase of our life. We can learn, grow, and become like Him one consistent step at a time."

Back to my story. 

I felt prompted to keep a journal.

Ignored it. 

Taught my lesson.  Told the kids they should keep a journal.  Again, felt prompted.  Again, ignored it. 

A couple of weeks later, I was praying for the desire to want to become better.  (I know, confusing.  Read it through a couple of times).  I had a very strong impression, that I'd already been told what I needed to do to work on becoming better.  I needed to keep a journal. 

My thought, "I'll do it tomorrow."

**people, I am obviously very impressive.

Then, this girl buckled down and told herself, "No.  You prayed to know what you needed to do, and you can't procrastinate it.  Write it tonight.  Even if it is late.  You already bought the notebook when it was on sale because of back to school."

I did.

The blessings have been beyond compare.  There have been blessings that I've received from writing in this journal that aren't even related at all to journal writing.  I've had insights into my parenting, my marriage, and myself.

I'm grateful for a Heavenly Father who sent me repeated promptings to do something that in the end, would only benefit me.   I'm grateful that I've had the opportunity to become more grateful, and more aware of God's hand in my life.  I've been grateful for things like red lights, answers to prayers, and songs playing on my iPod.  I've had blessings that I didn't need, just wanted.  And I have precious memories recorded to read again. 

Now I just need to work up the courage to find out what the next step on the path for me is. 

Camping, of a sort

Aaron and I decided to take the boys camping as a way to soothe their disappointment about not getting to go to the MVHS homecoming football game.  Don't ask me why we figured camping would make them less tired than staying up watching the game.  Minds work strangely sometimes.

We did an Overton type of camping.

We pitched our tent in the backyard.

Our "fire" such as it was, was charcoal briquettes in a grill starter. 

Our marshmallows were rock hard, and provided more entertaining as flaming torches than in gooey s'mores.  We tried the s'mores, the marshmallows didn't even ooze.

The wild animals consisted of one cat, who spent the night trying to sneak into the tent.

And the actual sleeping in the tent?  That lasted 5 minutes, until Cade decided that it would be more comfortable to sleep in his bed.

But, it was a sweet memory, we got home in 2 seconds, and still smelled like camping. 

Fall Mantle

We made these pallets in Relief Society, and I was too indecisive to write on it then.  It's only taken me two weeks to decide what I wanted it to say.

I wrote it first with chalk, and then just painted over the chalk.  It's far from perfect, and the instagram filter makes it look much better than it is, but I love it still. 

Next on the project list, some burlap and flannel pumpkins.  I'm going to attempt them tonight...maybe.  Unless I decide to exercise instead.

Updates

A lot has happened to our family, and I've been putting off writing about it, until everything gets set somewhat in stone.  That's the worst.   To announce something and then have to take it back.

I can't take this one back though.

Our third baby is coming in February.  My due date is February 12th (which happens to be my grandma Lyon's birthday, my father-in-law's birthday, and my uncle's birthday).  We have many people rooting for that day.

**I'm still rooting for earlier

Our ultrasound is scheduled for September 25th, and I have resigned myself to the fact that it will probably be another boy, so that I will be pleasantly surprised when my mother's intuition is right and it's the girl I think it is.

Second update.

We put in an offer on a house and it was accepted. It's beautiful.  I'm in love, and we're going to stay in the same ward, and never move again.  (I do accept the fact that Heavenly Father may have other plans, but hopefully He reads this blog and agrees with me).

Cade's favorite part of the house was the kitty.  He was sad when he found it that wouldn't be included.  


**for member's of the Ov 2nd ward, we're the mysterious individuals who bought Jill Williams' house.  Sorry to keep you in suspense.

I can show you a few MLS pictures.  My favorite is the kitchen.  If we get all our paperwork turned in and finished, we can move in November 4.

another of the kitchen.  I told you it was my favorite.  My grandma and I are already planning on going antique shopping to get some cute glass for that open shelving.

my very own laundry room...

 3rd Update

Aaron got some additional responsibilities at work and is now the new marketing manager.  This makes me, editor-in-chief.  I get to review all the ads, banners, and clever catchphrases.  And I'm pretty good at coming up with cheesy ones....

4th and last one

Cade has gotten pretty funny with some of his little comebacks.  I've posted some on facebook, so I won't be redundant, but his latest one really got me.

Grandma Lyon has a pantry.

A glorious pantry.

Filled with candy, fruit snacks, and popsicles.

He frequently asks to go to Grandma Lyon's house.  

One day, I was over with them, and Cade asked me if he could have a piece of candy.  I told him no, since he'd had plenty of sweets already.  I'm talking to my grandma and notice blessed silence, and a closed pantry door. 

I open up the pantry and see the two sinners surrounded by grandma's candy basket and empty wrappers on the floor.  I start picking up the candy and told Cade, "Cade McCombs, you weren't supposed to have any candy!"

Cade: "You weren't supposed to see me!"

Color Run in Salt Lake City

In April, my sister-in-law, published on facebook that she had just signed up for her first 5K.  Being curious, I clicked on her link, and noticed it was a color run.

So I signed up.

It was in August, the end of August.  I started out really well with the training, telling myself that it was going to be harder to run 3.2 miles in Salt Lake than here because of the elevation differences.

Training was great in April and May...

**yes, the dot dots mean that it definitely petered, getting worse and worse until August got here.  And then I saw that the race wasn't even timed, which again made my motivation fly out the window. 

August 24th came and I was a little nervous, but I ended up running the whole thing.  My hip flexors were not happy about it all day, but the adrenaline definitely got me through it. 

I have discovered that I enjoy racing, but I do not enjoy non-competitive races.  Most people walked this one, and having to jog around people was not my favorite thing.  I will do the race again, because it was fun, and my kids loved smearing themselves with the remnants of the color, but I'll also look into getting into some races that are timed. 

Just not right now. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Domain

Conversation we had tonight after Aaron saw a large cricket by his side of the bed.

Him: "Shell, will you please kill it? I always kill the bugs,"

Her: "Nope. God made you the boy, so He must have meant for YOU to kill bugs. It's your domain."

Him: Sighs, grabs a shoe, squeals just a little, and kills the bug.

Him: "Ew, its guts are every where."

Her: "Make sure you clean that up."

Him: without missing a beat, "Nope. That's your domain."

So I'm Slightly Paranoid

I've had a brief bought of tummy aches and a head ache today.

I did the bare minimum for my kids, and spent most of the time lying on the bed with a pillow under my tummy.

**this may or may not have resulted in Desitin being smeared all over the bedroom and Cade's "baby" (a stuffed teddy bear) being dropped in the toilet while he (the baby) was trying to go potty.

I was doing okay until Aaron came home for lunch and I told him I was feeling a little nauseous.

His first reaction?

"You're not pregnant are you?"

**my last period was 5 days ago.

Me: "I don't think so..."

Don't ever Google pregnant and period.  Apparently, many people have periods and are still pregnant. 

**pay no attention to the fact that I only had one symptom of pregnancy...the nausea.

I knew it.  I was pregnant.  Baby number 3 was due in October.  While on birth control.  And while I still had a period.  This kid is one in a million folks.

I went to the dollar store, bought the cheapest test they had, and tried to find a way to make my kids look older.

**next time, I'm going to buy tampons at the same time.  That'll show 'em.  Try & figure that out!

The final verdict.  Not pregnant.  But I may need a year supply of pregnancy tests, just to keep me calm. 

Series

Growing up, I was a big Tennis Shoes Among the Nephites fan.

Devoured them.

I started reading them again. 

And my reading tastes have changed.

I've noticed as I start reading books by the same author, I tend to get tired of them.  Their writing style is the same.  It's predictable.  Just different places and characters.

Anita Stansfield is another example.  Two beautiful attractive people fall in love, go through everything that life can possibly throw at them, and still end up madly in love, with kisses and touches that are electric.

Anyone had a series that they haven't gotten tired of, or noticed that the author writes the same? 

**I realize I may infuriate some people, but I think Harry Potter gets a little monotonous, especially the 5th book.  Harry is always right.  No one ever believes him.  It's Harry vs every one else, and Harry wins.  The end.

Troubleshooting

What do you do when you're mad because mom won't stop at the grocery store to get you a cookie and you're 3?

Follow these steps:

• remove shoes and socks in car.
• throw shoes and socks
• become angry when mom just gets you out of your carseat and expects you to put them back on yourself
• stay outside and refuse to go inside
• stand outside the door screaming 
• remove clothing
• find large rocks and throw them inside

If all else fails, run over and find Grandpa at work.  He's just two doors down.

Grow Faster

I do not have a green thumb.

The last plant I had, drowned in its own pot. 

I thought I was being helpful.

But I love having green, growing things in my home.  And I bought some herb crates that will look beautiful with something growing inside it.

A couple days ago, Cade and I planted some seeds (sweet basil, baby's breath, and forget-me-nots).

**seeds are a much cheaper investment.  If my plants die, I'm only out 3 bucks.

I just wish they didn't take so long to grow.  I'm dying to know if I killed them yet. 

Uncomfortable Situations

I've being trying to stretch myself. 

**for instance, I organized a volleyball team for the Parks & Rec competitive league that starts in February.  Normally, I'm a wait and hope to get asked kind of gal.  This time, I put my destiny in my own hands.

 I finally conceded that Aaron had a point with making all of our purchases with cash so that we could cut out unnecessary spending and save even more for a house. 

**except I totally forgot the cash at home when I went grocery shopping today.  Oops.  
 
Lots of ideas have been filling my mind lately.  I finished a little dress for a friend's baby shower that's coming up and thought, "I'm getting pretty good at this." 

So I was brave, and asked a friend who has a successful Etsy business if she would sponsor some of the dresses that I made. 

And guess what?

She wasn't scary or mean or anything. 

**I had to take several breaths before I could read the message.  This is one of my foolish tendencies.  I'll send an email, or a text to someone asking them something and then I'm scared to read it to find out the answer.  It sits there for several days, until I convince Aaron to read it for me and tell me what it says.

So I've got my dress patterns and I'm ready to go. 

**except, I've been looking at fabric, and yikes!  It's expensive.  If your dress only uses 1 yard of fabric, then the cute $10.00 a yard fabric is fine, but when you get into 5 yards +, along with time/labor and supplies, no wonder all the cute dresses on Etsy are $90.00. 

So we'll see how that goes. 

Potty Train?

Occasionally Jackson shows me that even with a limited vocabulary, one can still be funny.

Aaron took Cade & Jackson to the park on his day off (bless him), and Cade experienced a call of nature.

While he's peeing on the grass (I'm sorry!  He refuses to go in the potty if there's any possible way he can pee outside), Jackson comes up to them.

Lifting up his shirt, and patting his tummy, he yells, "PEE PEE!!"

Aaron looks at him and says, "Just go pee pee in your diaper, Jackson."

Jackson: "YAY!!!"

***

Cade and I were talking about his birthday and how it's coming up.  I told him that when he has his birthday, he will turn 3.

Cade looked at me, and said, "No Mommy.  My next habby burbay (happy birthday) my be 4!"

My Father's Child

Cade and I got into a fight a couple of nights ago.

I was ready for him to go to bed.  I was done.

He on the other hand, had other plans.

No matter what I did I could not get him to stay in his bed.

Throttling was my next option.

He was crying.  Angry.  Upset. 

I was not crying, but was also angry and upset. 

I had lost control, over something really trivial.

Aaron comes in, spends 10 minutes calming him down, singing songs and voila, Cade stays in his bed.

I felt so ashamed.

I have become who I swore I would never be.  My dad.

**Now, don't get me wrong, my dad is a good man, but he didn't always parent in the most patient way possible.  We all have flaws, and I'm going to tell my children:

"Condemn me not because of mine imperfection, neither my father, because of his imperfection, neither them who have written before him; but rather give thanks unto God that he hath made manifest unto you our imperfections, that ye may learn to be more wise than we have been.

Mormon 9:31

But I didn't want to be like him.  I yelled at him that when I was a mom, I was never EVER going to do what he did to me.  

And here I was, doing it.

I cried.  And told Aaron.  Cried some more.  

I don't want Cade to have the same feelings about me that I have about my dad.  I want him to love me.  And already we've had many clashes.  Because we're so much alike.  Both of us are stubborn.  Really stubborn.  And very much, my way or the highway.  We like things done our way.  We're bossy.  And demanding.  

But I still don't want to clash.  I want him to love me, not just because I'm his mom, but because I'm a person he wants to be like.  

I went into his bedroom after I'd had that realization.  If I don't want a strained relationship with him, I need to start mending fences, ASAP.  

He was sleeping.  I woke him up and just cried.  Told him I was sorry.  Asked if we could still be friends.

He smiled.  Smiled while I told him he was sorry.  I asked him if he still loved me.

"Yay Mommy."  

Sometimes I'm grateful he's only 2.  They're much more forgiving that way. 

Dollar Signs

Is it taboo to talk about money? 

**because even if it is, I'm going to do it anyway.  I have to get it out, or I'm going to go a little crazy.

I made the mistake of looking at house plans the other day.

I thought we were getting close to our goal.  I am so sick and tired of living in a basement apartment (that doesn't even have a kitchen) and feeling ashamed when people come by because I have two kids and am still "mooching" and don't have a house yet and all my friends do. 

Then I fall into the trap of "If only."  If only we hadn't had kids so early.  Then I could have worked too, and we could have had two salaries.  If only we'd graduated from college when the economy was still good.  If only I hadn't spent so much on clothes during college!

**however, I will admit to myself that if I had waited to have kids, then I wouldn't have gotten to hear Jackson sing "If you're happy and you know it shout hurray!"  He yells, "OO-RAYY!!!" at the top of his lungs.  But then, Cade reminds me that if I had waited to have kids, then I would have had to experience a complete meltdown because I wouldn't give him a whole entire pancake with Nutella on it, after he'd already left one pancake completely untouched.  

It's so hard to wait.  I'm frustrated and tired of it.  I am very much guilty of telling myself, "I'll be happy when..."

And I can't seem to stop it. 

Even though I know that I'm missing out on the happiness that is there, right now. 

And honestly, is God going to turn me away from heaven because I didn't live in a 4,000 square foot home that was featured in magazines every 6 months? 

Now that down payment looks so far away.  I'm thinking of becoming a medical transcriptionist, teaching violin or piano lessons, really dedicating myself to an Etsy shop, babysitting, writing a children's book, anything, to get us closer and out of here sooner.

Because I think it will make me happier.

Stupid money.

I guess I deserve this

I always used to judge people who were sick all the time.

Obviously they were not doing something right.

Until we became that family.

Seriously.

Since like November.

This time, Cade & I have been fighting the flu.

The genuine article.

**which apparently has very little to do with vomiting.  In fact, it's really not even a symptom.  You know its the flu versus a common cold if the fever comes on very suddenly and is higher than 101.  Plus muscle aches.

**poor Cade got up to 104.8.  I'd give him Tylenol and after it started working he would come out of his bedroom and say, "My feel happy now!"

If this is the universe's way of showing me that sometimes you are just sick no matter what you do, I promise I have learned my lesson.  Please keep us healthy until next year. 

Why?

In Relief Society today we talked about talents.

I love to sing.  Love it.  And in a choir, no big deal at all.  I can sing my little heart out.

By myself.  Not so much.  My voice always gets shaky and nervous.

I over think it.  Worry that people listening have this idea that I'm going to be amazing and then I'll disappoint them. 

I didn't use to be that way.  Singing in public was no big deal.  I knew I was good.  And I sang like I was.

I wish I could get that confidence back. 

**aren't you supposed to get more confident the older you get?  Hasn't happened for me yet, but then, neither has curing the acne problem.  The lies we are told. 

I'm singing in church in January.  My goal is not to worry about what people will think.  My goal is to bring the Spirit.  That is all. 

**at least, I'm trying to have that be all.  It's like when you bring a meal over for someone and you have to taste it first to make sure that they know you are a good cook, and then you spend WAY more time preparing their meal than you do for your family because again, one must impress. 

**Aunt Stephanie went back to BYU today.  When we pulled up to Grandma & Grandpa house, Cade said, "Oh, where'd a go Aunt Stephanie?"  We told him she went back to Utah.  He sighed, then said, "Aunt Stephanie go back Ukah.  My feel sad."

Cade-Isms

Mommy, my tummy sad now (translation, I'm hungry)

Oh Mommy!!  Tummy HAPPY now! (translation, I'm full)

Mommy, ready go Ukah, see No-woh Bomp-pa (I'm ready to go to Utah and see Noah and Grandpa)

Oh where'd a go Dah-Wow? (Where did Aunt Danielle go?)

I was going to write more, but it's really hard to write in two-year-old. 

Divine Signatures

Aaron has been reading the book by Gerald Lund called Divine Signatures.  

**for those of you who don't know about the book, it's basically a book about tender mercies.  Coincidences that happen that aren't coincidences, but expressions of God's love for us.

It's challenged me.  I want to see more of God's hand in my life.  To be grateful for it.

**I guess this is where writing a journal comes in handy.

I've thought often about how Aaron and I met.  All the different things that had to happen in order for us to meet.  He had to apply to BYU.  I had to live in Wyview.  He had to live in Wyview.  He had to leave for his mission 2 years late.  I had to go to BYU.  We had to be in the same ward (he almost moved out right after he got there).  He had to be the Elders Quorum President.  I had to be the Relief Society President.  He had to be born (his mom's water broke when she was 4 months pregnant with Aaron after she was in a car accident.  She was blessed that if she had faith, all would be well with her baby.  When the doctors did a second ultrasound, they found that the tear in the placenta had healed and had refilled with amniotic fluid and her body didn't go into labor).

No way is it coincidence.

But there are so many ifs, ands, and buts to all the divine signatures or tender mercies.  Many times, it hinges on one person doing or saying something.  Acting.

I went to the temple to celebrate mine and Aaron's 4th anniversary this weekend.  While we were heading up to the sealing room, I heard a baby crying.  I felt the entire time I was hearing this baby cry that I should get up and try to help.  I didn't.  I sat there (because it would have meant leaving the sealing room).  

I don't know what would have happened if I had gotten up.  Maybe the flustered temple worker was praying for help.  Or maybe the parents that their baby girl would be happy.  I don't know.  Maybe she would have screamed with me holding her anyway.  But I'm sad.  I'm sad that I might have missed the opportunity to help provide someone with a tender mercy.

 I'm going to try to do better.

us on December 30, 2008.  

the most recent family picture we have

**I realized this after posting, but Jackson's pants look like something from the Twilight Zone.