Prayer

This refers to my previous post here 

“I believe that many people are confident that the Lord's will will be done and that the Lord can do anything, but they're not confident that he will do it for them or that he wants to do it now.

“This lack of confidence in our ability to gain access to the powers of heaven is a major reason why more of our prayers aren't answered. In fact, as I travel around the Church I often meet people who say, ‘My prayer wasn't answered because it just wasn't the will of the Lord.’ They want to place the responsibility for their unanswered prayer on the Lord. But often the truth is that they just didn't exercise enough faith; they didn't have enough confidence in their ability to receive an answer.

 “It is true that we must ask according to the will of God. As John wrote:

 ‘This is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us: And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him.’ (1 John 5:14-15.)

“But too often we use this as an excuse. Instead of trying to place the responsibility on the Lord when we don't get the answers we want (‘obviously it wasn't the will of God’), we should learn to have confidence before him so that we can ‘come boldly unto the throne of grace’ (Hebrews 4:16) and receive the desires of our hearts.” (Gene R. Cook, Receiving Answers to Our Prayers [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1996], 60.)

Just cute

Cade loves Jackson.

Love might be an understatement.

I've been fighting him for days now trying to keep Cade out of Jackson's crib.  All he wants to do is sleep with his little brother.  When we're putting them down for bed and singing some songs, Cade must at all times be hugging Jackson, kissing Jackson, or holding his ear.  And Jackson gladly reciprocates.

Today Cade was playing with his favorite toy (Jackson) by pushing him around in the stroller.


FYI, Jackson is 3 lbs lighter than Cade.  I got asked yesterday how old my twins were.

Cade points at the street and says, "No no."  (meaning, he's telling me that he's not supposed to go in the street)

Before I can praise Cade for being so smart and obedient I hear from the stroller,

"Na na."

Weirdy

I am such a girl.

I asked for advice in my last post and then found myself ignoring the advice that came and thinking, "That won't work," and, "I can't (okay) won't do that." 



I'll try. 

but no promises

Thanks for your support and kind words.  I can't promise that the scale will leave my bathroom, but maybe I can change to making a weigh-in a weekly thing.  I really believe that weighing in every so often is vital in maintenance.  It's way easier to lose 1 or 2 lbs than it is to lose 10 or 15. 

Wanting More

Aug. 2008, 174 lbs

Jan. 2012, 130 lbs

(obviously my hairstyle hasn't changed in 3 1/2 years)

I have lost 60 lbs since December 2006.  I weigh 130 lbs and have a BMI of 19.2.  I wear a size 2/4.



I should be happy.

I should look at myself and see this gorgeous thin body that I have wanted to have all my life.


But I don't.


I never understood how my little sister could look in the mirror and see fat.  She was the flyer for the cheerleading squad and weighed maybe 100 lbs wet.  I hated her

(I didn't really HATE her, I just hated how thin and beautiful she was.  It always hurt that she got all the boyfriends and I just had the boy friends)

The thing is, I used to see a beautiful, thin person.  Right after I lost all the weight, I couldn't stop looking in the mirror because I was just so proud.  So happy.  So confident.  I finally felt like I belonged in my family of beautiful skinny girls.  

And then....

I guess I got used to it.  And I don't know how to not be used to it anymore.  My head tells me that I'm thin and that people would kill to look like me, but I don't see it 

(I'm not asking for compliments on how skinny I am or how great I look.  I think I'm trying to say that I finally understand how even skinny people can have body issues)

I am addicted to the scale.  The number it shows dictates how good of a person I am.  I know that's not true, I know it's wrong, but I can't stop.  I'm too afraid that if I stop weighing myself everyday I'll find myself back to where I was 5 years ago.  

And here's the kicker.  While I want to change my image of myself, and feel good about myself, I'm scared that if I do, I'll just let myself go. 

Suggestions?

 

 

 

Fair

Fair is....


making your husband clean out the shower drain when it's all your hair clogging it.




Just like fair is...


when your husband gets cookies & juice (and lies down because he doesn't feel well) while you're in labor.

In case my last post was too serious

We like to call him Cracker Face.

Trusting God

Our Relief Society lesson this past Sunday was on the life of President George Albert Smith and I have been thinking about a statement this entire week since.
 
(for a person who usually doesn't really remember anything in particular that was mentioned, this is big.  I feel like this is something the Spirit wants me to learn).

"The Lord will take care of you in times of danger, if you will give him the opportunity."

Wow.  

I believe that President Smith wasn't only talking about times of danger, but about any circumstance.  So often I pray for something, saying, "Heavenly Father please...." and then when it doesn't happen I assume that it's His will, when he just might be waiting for me to do it. 

For our family scripture study we just got finished reading the first "war chapter" in Alma.  Moroni said something that struck me and it goes along perfectly with what I've been talking about

"Now I cannot recall the words which I have spoken, therefore as the Lord liveth, ye shall not depart except ye depart with an oath that ye will not return again against us to war. Now as ye are in our hands we will spill your blood upon the ground, or ye shall submit to the conditions which I have proposed." (Alma 44:11)

Now what struck me was that Moroni knew  that they would win.  He didn't just pray to Heavenly Father that morning that the Nephites would win and then hope they would because it just might be God's will.  

No. 

He said, 

Heavenly Father, we're fighting for what's right and we're fighting for the right reasons, and I  EXPECT  you to help us win.  I EXPECT to win, because I'm doing what I'm supposed to. 

Moroni was giving Heavenly Father the opportunity to bless him and to keep them safe. 

The scriptures promise us all the time that Heavenly Father will give us whatever we ask if it's right.  The Bible Dictionary says, "The object of prayer...is to secure for ourselves...blessings that God is already willing to grant, but that are made conditional on our asking for them."  And I think Heavenly Father wants us to ask with some gumption.  How else do we show Him that we believe Him when He says that He wants to bless us?


  
 

 

lamp re-purposed

I am obsessed lately with re-purposing ugly things, especially lamps.  What is with ugly-shaped brass/gold lamps that seem to just be pouring out of people's ears? 

I wish I'd taken a before picture, but all I have is the after.  I'm so proud, even though I'm afraid to turn it on because it might start a fire.

those of you who know me will realize how epic this is that even one picture was taken

no more monkeys jumping on the bed

I am always amazed by how much Cade understands and remembers. 

We had to go to the doctor today so that Jackson could get his 6 months shots (I missed his 4 month well-baby check completely because we were in between insurances and jobs) and I told Cade that he needed to hold my hand while we were in the parking lot so that we could take baby Jackson to the doctor.

He looks up at me, says, "Na na" and shakes his finger

translation: Mama called the doctor and the doctor said, No more monkeys jumping on the bed.

Smart kid.