I have so many blog posts that I've started and never finished. I think it's because I have this deep down fear that if I start to confess something that I know is true about myself, then I'll have to acknowledge that I have the weakness.
So I don't really talk about it. I tell Aaron the fluff stuff. Problems with body image. Things like that. Stuff that almost every woman struggles with and can relate to. But it's never "me" stuff. Things that me, Rachelle, as a human being, specifically struggle with because of the way I am. Not because of how society has made me feel.
I had to live up to one of those weaknesses this last weekend.
It was hard.
Hard to say it, and even harder to think it. To think through all the ramifications of the weakness. To see where it has brought me, and how it affects me every day, even though I don't want to admit it.
Even harder than realizing the weakness, was realizing that I still didn't think it needed to be fixed. And I didn't want to fix it.
So this week, I'm praying to want to want to change.
3 comments:
It's hard to admit that you have a weakness. But I know that you will find strength to overcome whatever it is. I hope it all works out, and I am sure it will.
i think we all feel that way, and when i finally was brave enough to post about some of it, it was incredibly encouraging to find out i'm not the only one.
but, that being said, if you don't feel comfortable posting it on the internet, still write it down. it's incredibly soothing and helps the process. or you can just drive down to my house and tell me : )
Post a Comment