I think the compassionate factor that comes standard in women skipped me.
Actually, I know it did.
And I expect too much of my children.
**a part of me wishes that I could experience a day in their brain. See how their thought processes work. So that when one of them comes up to them and just randomly smacks the other, I really do know what they were thinking.
Jackson woke up one night screaming. My first instinct? Let him. He's safe, warm, and perfectly capable of speech. If I come to him at night all the time, then he'll think night time is for playing not for sleeping yada yada yada
**call me sleep nazi
Thankfully, the girl side of my brain (which is less dominant than the boy side) said, "Rachelle, he's 3 years old."
Oh yeah.
I went in, and just held him. Then he wanted me to lay down by him and sing him a song. Again, first instinct? NO! It will cause bad sleep habits, he'll wake up every night expecting this, he's just delaying going back to bed....and on and so forth.
Again, girl side of brain prevailed. "He's 3 years old! (apparently I have a hard time remembering this). Love him. Sing to him. Lay down by him. You want him to remember you as a mom who spent time with him and loved him, not a mom who taught him good sleeping habits and taught him to be tough."
I sang.
Then went to my bedroom and cried.
After I cried, I wrote it down. Maybe I'll remember it next time.
