Fear

When I was in high school, I loved to read the news.  I would pick up the paper, grab a snack, and devour it (snack & paper). 

Yesterday, I was reading about the economy, what happened with the American ambassador, the Chicago teachers strike...and it was really scary.

In high school, I wasn't scared.  Life was grand.  Because all I had to worry about was myself, and even then, not even that.  My parents always had money, ergo, I was fine.  Nothing was going to happen to me.

Now I read about how if our current spending continues, in 2020, we will be at 200% of debt ratio to GDP (just for comparison, Greece is at 150% and has declared bankruptcy).  My head knows this can't keep happening.  And 2020 is only 8 years away.  That's not far enough for me to be sure that I and my children's children will be dead and so I won't have to worry.  I'll only be 32.

I wish the teachers striking in Chicago could step back and look at themselves.  They're protesting that their average $74,000 salary can't stand to handle not having guaranteed 4% payraises, even though there is no money for those pay raises.  And heaven forbid that it actually be possible to fire teachers and grade them based on student performances.  How many of you have ever heard of a teacher being fired?  (besides for having sex with a student).  Shouldn't they be?  Any other profession will fire you if you are incompetent.


**I do not mean this as a rant against the teaching profession.  I know that teachers have a hard job.  I know.  But that still doesn't change the fact that teacher's unions are keeping students out of school for 2 weeks now while they protest that raises should be guaranteed when there is no income to fund the raises.  It's ridiculous. 

I start to go a little into panic mode at this point.  And I have to remind myself.  I am promised, that if I am doing everything right, living right, striving to become better, that I will be okay.  Now, I don't know what okay means.  My definition of okay is different that God's I'm sure.  But, I will still be okay.  And I have never looked back and wished for something different than for what I've been given.

When Aaron lost his job in Arizona, I was freaking out.  Applying for jobs.  Crying.  Wondering how I was going to feed my kids.  Where we were going to live.  What we were going to do.  The day after he lost his job, I was driving home from grocery shopping and a song came on:

"God said it, I believe it.  Tis all that faith demands.  Though heav'n and earth shall pass away his word will stand."

I thought, "Aaron followed a prompting.  He did what he was asked.  We're doing what we're supposed to.  Everything is going to be okay."

So while my news reading has definitely decreased, when I feel the urge to freak out and feel like the sky is falling, I remind myself that I and my family will be okay....eventually.  And it will all work out.  And I won't regret a thing.